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The male Spartan citizen did not live with his wife but in the barracks of Agoge <ref>Talbert, Richard. Plutarch on Sparta (London: Penguin Books, 2005), p 134</ref> The husband would typically sneak out of the barracks to visit his wife at night. This unusual family life was something that shocked the rest of Greece. The fact that Spartan women were not controlled by their husband or father meant that they had a great degree of freedom. They had more sexual freedom after their marriage and many classical writers assert that Spartan women were routinely unfaithful to their husbands. As a result, the legitimacy of many Spartan male heirs was a matter of controversy.<ref>Pomeroy, p 119</ref> Several Spartan kings were excluded from the throne because of claims that they were illegitimate.

In general, the tightly controlled Spartan society was not preoccupied with issues of legitimacy but on the production of male children. Indeed, it is reported that older men encouraged their wives to have affairs with younger men so that out of these relationships, strong male infants would be born. The level of sexual freedom of Spartan women was something that bewildered the Ancient Greeks, including Aristotle. Moreover, Spartan women could divorce their husband which was not the case in the rest of Greece.<Cartledge, p 78</ref>